This site was created in an effort to create world peace, as well as to eradicate world hunger.
Dumbasses who make this page
Name:
Rob P
Email:
Alias:
jrap
Job at RateMyMullet:
I am the creator, the god, the Lord Jesus Christ of this little site.
Useless Blurb:
When I was younger I had a bed wetting problem. To stop this problem my parents ordered a state of the art device. It attached to my underwear. It had a small sensor that sensed moisture. It also had a small speaker that made loud beeping noises. When I pissed myself, the beeper went off, and scared the fuck out of me. When I didn't pee my bed, I got a gold star. When I did though, I got a bronze star. When my underwear was damp, I received a silver star. I ended up getting all gold stars. I don't wet my bed anymore.
Name:
Shane MacPherson
Email:
shane @ bunchajerks.com
Alias:
Shank MacFarquaharson, Shooner, Shane MacMuffin, The Cincinatti Kid
Job at RateMyMullet:
Moral guidance, grammatical engineering, i spels gud, the occasional big bad mullet profile, the occasional big bad-ass graphic, takin' shit, removing foot from mouth, poking fun at Rob's shitty scripting, poking Rob in the stomach, grabbing Rob by the arm and screaming "You don't know what it's like out there!", a-slackin', mullet reconnaisance photography (motto: swift, silent, deadly), mullet-bait - pointing at mullets and screaming "Hey you fucking asshole, you're a god-damned goof!", not trying things at home, bustin' shit, packin' away 24s like there's no tomorrow
Useless Blurb:
Do not get too close to these beautiful creatures, for god sakes, I can't stress that enough! Stay at least 100 yards away from the mullet, or you may be putting yourself and your family at grave risk. Mullet-related injuries are up this year, statistics are not yet complete, but it's estimated that one in 5 deaths among children aged 8-12 have been caused by the fatal blows of a raging mullet. I know it must seem like such an adventure, mullet-hunting, you see us up there on your TV screen in the wild, taking these wonderful photographs thinking "Yeah....yeeeeahahh, that could be me!" For Christ's sake people, don't fucking go out there unprepared, I can't be held responsible for anything you idiots do with your whack-ass cameras, so Moms don't come screaming at me when your precious children are found lying in the streets in urine-soaked blood, you know what happened- I fuckin' warned you. A mullet is a beautiful thing, and if you treat it with well-spaced respect, it will treat you with at least minimum/non-fatal hostility. They will allow photos, as long as they aren't exposed to the bright light from a flash bulb or a makeshift flashlight. They cannot understand the idea of a camera, and will usually ignore the intrusion as long as you're REALLY careful - step lightly, look smart, and don't draw attention to yourself. A mullet cannot be reasoned with, so if you find yourself staring down the barrel of some mullet-head's dual pythons, try to go limp and wait until it's over, they usually won't kill you, just slap you around for a bit. Try to call for help, if your lungs aren't filled with fluid. That is all. If you're still reading, you are ready for a good ole fashioned mullet hunt! Yeeeeeeeehawwwwwwww!!!
